


One Step Closer

by Hades_queen_13



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: College Student Eren Yeager, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, Eventual Sex, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Imaginary Friends, M/M, Memories, Nightmares, Reincarnation, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Some attempts at humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3616689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hades_queen_13/pseuds/Hades_queen_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi remembers it all. The blood the monsters. Every single second of that horror is I'm bedded in his head forever. But there is one good thing about his haunting memories. Even though they're horrible most of them have a single good factor. Him. The boy who was neither human nor monster but both. And he was beautiful.<br/>Eren doesn't know what's happening to him. He keeps getting strange dreams. Giant humanoid beasts who feast on human flesh. Him being one of those beasts. A man in an emerald green cape. He likes that part the best but he knows it's just a dream. At least that's what he thinks until the man he's been dreaming of falls into his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Levi Ackerman stares down at his wrists. They're covered in slash marks. Marks of his own creation. To anyone else they'd make him look suicidal. But that's not the case at all. The slashes help him to stay grounded so he doesn't kill himself. They keep him sane. The momentary splashes of pain let him forget the horrible nightmares even if for a moment. Those dreams that seem to drain him piece by piece.  
It's always the same. He's kicking a child. A boy who can't be older than 15 maybe 16 at the most. And he has the most beautiful eyes. Somewhere between blue and green with flecks of golden amber swimming in them. But some thing's off about them. They hold fear and anger and sadness. His tanned face is covered in blood and tears. But Levi's foot doesn't stop it's relentless attack. The heel of his shoe is hitting the boy in the face the arms the back. Anywhere he can land a hit really. He shows no remorse and he knows his face shows no emotion because he's been told that before. For a second Levi looks around at the courtroom he's in. On the right stand a jury of rich looking people. They seem terrified. But not for just for themselves. They seem to be afraid for him. As if they think something were to happen to him. On the right is another jury. But this group of people look less afraid. They all where the same attire. Tan jackets, white pants with tight leather straps, white shirts and brown boots. He recognizes one of these people. Really he's hard to miss especially with those monstrous eyebrows. Erwin's face is hard to read as usual. But he looks calm and prepared just in case something goes wrong. A flash of movement catches Levi's eye and he sees a girl trying to less out of the stands. Her bluish gray eyes match his perfectly and hold fury and promises of lethal intent. The only thing holding her back is a blue eyed blonde boy who's tugging that her arm in attempts to calm her down. It seems to work and now she's only glaring at him with her fists clenched. He turns back to the boy and suddenly he's not in a courtroom. In fact he's not in a room at all. He's outside. There's blood on his hands and normally he would have wiped them with the cleanest rag he could find. But this situation is anything but normal. The male he's holding looks like an older version of the boy in the courtroom. His chocolate brown hair is longer and his body is lean and muscular. His turquoise eyes are open but blank and glazed over. They aren't blinking he's not moving and Levi can't feel his heart beating. Levi has trouble holding the sword in his hand and keeping the boy upright so the blade drops. The blood on Levi's hands are physically causing him pain as he closes the boy's eyes. There's a slash across his neck that's deep and suddenly Levi feels sick. The fatal wound on the boy's throat. The bloody blade in Levi's hand. The blood on his body and limbs. He can hear loud screams and can see the ground shaking. He's shaking too. Trembling in fact. Staring into those intensely gorgeous eyes that no longer hold any light he knows. The boy is dead. But he refuses to believe that. "Eren!" He yells, voice raw and broken. He's sobbing now. How pathetic. "Don't you dare die. Not now. Not ever! You promised me you would stay and fight and damn it that's what you're going to do!" A harsh slap is delivered to the boy -Eren's face. His skin is already cold. Another slap. Levi's losing hope. He stares into those lifeless eyes and his soul hardens. Those filthy bastards took Eren's life. He was too young. So young. So many unfulfilled dreams. He wanted to see the ocean. The outside world. A world without them. And even if it killed him Levi would at least try to achieve that dream for him. He stood and gripped the swords in his hands. He could see one now. It's pink tinged skin clashing against the green leaves of the trees. To more approaching from the west. They can smell him. 'Good' He thinks wickedly. 'The more the merrier. Let's make this a party.' He engages his 3DM gear and flies up to a tree giving them all a good spot to see him. They're looking at him now. Watching him. God their faces are ugly. So distorted like a failed mutation. When he deems their distance from him to be too close he launches from the tree and latches onto one of their necks. He spins in midair feeling the force of the wind grabbing at his body, and strikes. It's a clean blow that sends the horrid thing to the ground. Levi wakes up in his own bed not surrounded by blood but by sweat and blankets. The sound of an alarm clock being the reason for his awakening. Not that he needs one. Those nightmares would have woken him up in their own eventually. Then again that was one of the reasons he'd set it so early. He preferred not to finish that dream. Better to wake up in a cold sweat than in tears. Took a while to go away and left his eyes red. And people asked questions about things like that. Questions he'd rather not answer. He slammed his hand on the off button and lay in his bed. Actually he did this everyday. Stared at the ceiling and contemplated. Stay home and do nothing all day or get up and go to work. Doing nothing had its advantages but he was critically low on food and his rent was due soon. Getting evicted wasn't was not something he planned on doing anytime soon. So even though he didn't feel like it he got up and showered. He didn't bother with getting anything to eat as the fridge was more barren than a desert. There was no need for a coat. It was the middle of July so it would be warm enough without one. The only thing he was in danger of was sunburn. Besides wearing a jacket reminded him of his dreams and that was the last thing he needed. When he started having his dreams at 16 he began making rules to yo with them. Rule 1 : Tell no one about them. He didn't need to be admitted to a mental institution. Rule 2: Don't think about them outside of the house. Well apartment. He never allowed himself to do this. At least here he could curl into a ball and hide away when he couldn't handle something. But he couldn't afford to lose his mental stability in public. Rule 3: If you recognize anyone from the dreams, do not under any circumstances attempt to befriend them. He'd tried that once in college and the person hadn't even known him. He'd rather be alone than disappointed. So he followed these rules to the letter. The only other option was a life full of nothing.


	2. Nightmares and New People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi doesn't like working. Or the people at work. Or people in general. But all that is about to change. Though he's not sure if it's for the better or not.

Levi's day usually begins with a curse inducing, middle finger raising, hair pulling drive to work. You know the usual everyday horrible traffic. But today for some ungodly reason it was even worse this morning. Every turn of a corner had him more pissed than the last. It seemed like he was the only one who knew how to drive. God it was terrible. He loved his hometown of Sina but sometimes he felt like stopping time getting out of his car and slap everyone here. But sadly it was the fastest way to work and he was already late as he was. Ah work. He didn't have much to say about it really. Besides the fact that it was pretty much the only thing that got him out of bed in the morning. It was your typical everyday office job. Although the employees at his job were anything but typical.  
Take Hange Zoe for example. That woman was the exact opposite of normal. For one thing she was rowdy and loud. And she loved giving Levi headaches. As far as Levi knew she had no respect for boundaries and if she did he wished she would respect his. But Hange was a friend if he ever had one. Sure she was a little -who was he kidding- just straight up annoying. But she was also loyal. She was one of those people who found ways to ruin someone's life for messing with her companions. Levi had seen it in action and he still felt bad for that guy. 

Then there was Erwin Smith. He was a strange one. The first thing was the eyebrows. They were huge. Comically so. If Levi was able to laugh very often he would have spurted into giggles every time he saw the man. To be honest Levi could very easily compare them to little furry insects. But besides the eyebrows Erwin was a good friend as well. He'd gotten Levi his first job and helped him pick out his first car. Of course he also liked making fun of Levis short comings in any way possible. (The last time had been showing Levi the video that Hange had taken when Levi had gotten wasted because she had refused to let him stay home on a Saturday.) But nevertheless Erwin was reliable.

Out of all of Levis friends he was pretty sure that Petra was the best. She was a great person overall. She was caring and not annoying and one of the few people that Levi didn't want to slowly asphyxiate. She refused to let Levi get hurt and was a mix between a sister, a mother, and a girlfriend to him. She would drop by his apartment with food on the days when she knew hadn't eaten. She'd even stay and watch TV with him and make friendly conversation. She was the one reason why he didn't fully hate work.  
But when he walked into his office he instantly regretted that thought. Hange was waiting for him with a grin and he wished he'd stayed at home. "Levi!" Ugh. Here came the headaches. Hange didn't bother with pleasantries going straight into questions. "What are you doing tonight?" "Staying at home and sleeping." Levi answered blandly. Hange whined. "Oh come on. Live a little will you? It's the weekend. Time for fun and drinks and more fun." "And dirty dancing and whores and barfing if I remember our last party." Another whine. "I apologized for that will you quit holding it over me? I feel like you're trying to guilt trip me into letting you stay at home." That was exactly what he was doing. But she didn't need to know that. Levi listened to the details of the party he most certainly was not attending. Apparently Sina had added a new club to its downtown area and Hange felt entitled to go see it for herself. Levi might be gone. If the downtown area wasn't also known as the University Square. They called that place downtown because it was the most busy part of the city. It was also college kid central. If you wanted to find a bunch of wasted college students on a Saturday night then that was the place to be. That was the deal breaker. Levi could deal with Hange dragging him to clubs every once in a while. He could deal with her loud outbursts and he could even deal with her outrageous habit of taking him shopping for outfits even though she knew he had no money and the clothes would never be worn again. But he was 34 years old. He seriously doubted that he could just walk into a college bar full of 20 years olds and go unnoticed.That just wasn't happening. "I'm not going." Levi said as he tried to set his things in his office and tried to get the old coffee machine to work. "Aww. Why not?" Hange whined. Levi snorted. "Maybe because we're not in college anymore and you can't handle alcohol any better than I can." That received a pout. "I can handle alcohol if I wanted to. I just like getting wasted." "No you like going batshit crazy and leaving me to fend for myself. You're very irresponsible." Another pout and Levi had finally gotten the coffee maker to cooperate. Hange seemed to be giving up. At least that's what Levi thought until Petra became part of the situation. "Is he coming with us?" She asked walking into the break room and grabbing a cup. "No I'm not." Levi said not wanting to hear Hange's exaggerated story of how she tried to convince him. Petra looked at him quizzically. "Why not? It sounds fun." "No it doesn't. It sounds like me being alone at a bar surrounded by 20 year olds while you two goof off. Besides I don't really like people." He grabbed the cup and took a sip of coffee before wrinkling his nose. He never did have a thing for coffee. Tea was his main source of beverages but Erwin refused to let him bring his own to the office. So he was stuck with it. For now. "You like us." Hange countered. Levi shook his head. "That doesn't count." Hange had her hands on her hips. "And why doesn't it?" "Because." Levi said, a rare smirk on his face. "You guys aren't people at all. You're all martians." And with that he walked out coffee in hand and small headache already forming. ________________________________________________________ Eight hours. Eight long excruciatingly boring hours of life that Levi will never get back. But that was all behind him now. Now he was on his way home. To his warm bed and his small television that he never actually watched. To the hidden room in the back of his apartment that he'd found a year after he moved in and made it into an art gallery. Well his art gallery. The only artworks in there were made by him. But that was okay. He liked it that way. But most of all he was ready for a cold shower. God it was hot outside. By the time Levi had gotten outside to his car he had removed his tie and undone two buttons. He'd cursed when he'd first gotten into his car because it was hotter than hell in there. He half expected to see Satan in the back seat. On the drive home he cursed some more at the traffic and when he finally got home he cursed again because a car was in his parking spot. A car that he knew. Petra's. Her navy blue Honda was parked neatly in the spot reserved for him. He sighed and parked across from his spot and walked into the building. The doorman said hello and even though Levi didn't know the guys name he answered back politely. It wasn't as if he'd never tried to learn his name. He just didn't have the time. When he came home he was usually on the brink of unconsciousness. So he avoided the fact by simply saying hello and hurrying to the elevator. As soon s he opens his door he wishes he hadn't. Hange is sitting on his little couch with snack wrappers littered around her. Where she gets the snacks Levi doesn't know. All he cares about is the fact that she's making a mess. "What. The. Fuck. Are you doing?" He grits as she stands smiling as if no harm was done. "Taking you to that party." "I thought I already told you that I don't want to go." "Too bad." Came a voice behind him. "You need to get out more. You've been cooped up in here for ages." Levi frowned. Since when had Petra become a creeper? "I have not been in here for ages. I go to work and I do get out." Petra raised an eyebrow. "Really? If you get out as often as you should then you should know the answer to this question. What is 9 plus 10?" Levi scoffed. What was this a math quiz? "19. Duh." "Wrong." "What?" "It's a trend. A video actually. A kid gets told he's stupid and says he's not. Then he gets asked the same question you were asked to which he answers 21 in a really funny voice. If you got out more you'd know that." "That's juvenile and idiotic and therefore not worth my time." Levi said crossing his arms. Petra nodded. "That may be but it proves I was right. You're coming with us to that party if I have to drag you by your hair." Levi gave up. There was no way he would win this. He'd known both of them long enough to know that they were stubborn and wouldn't give in. He'd just wait u til they were wasted and leave. But until then he'd suck it up.


	3. Dance with Me

Levi watched as Hange rifled through his closet complaining about how he had no fashion sense. "Seriously when was the last time you went shopping?" "The last time I had money." Hange groaned and brought put a pair of ripped skinny jeans that Levi had forgotten he had. "I bought these for you. Did you ever wear them again?" "Of course not. I like having circulation in my ass. They're too tight." "No you're just too uptight." He shook his head and tried to face palm but Petra stopped him. "Will you stop it?" "I'm trying to fix this mess and I can't do that if you keep smudging my masterpiece." Levi groaned. "I'm don't need a hair cut. I'm perfectly fine with the way it is." "Blah blah blah. Just sit still." Levi sighed and sat still to the best if his abilities while he watched Hange go through his small selection of shoes. He briefly wondered how much of a mess she'd made in there but then decided he didn't want to know. Better to be surprised later on. After about 10 minutes -and 6 pats to the head for moving- Hange gasped and crawled out producing a pair of gray jeans and a pair of boots. "I knew you didn't throw these out!" Of course he didn't. If he did he'd just be setting himself up to fail. Hange would've had a cow if he did throw them out. Besides he didn't hate the boots and the jeans were rather comfortable. Hange set the clothes on the bed and went back in to find a shirt while Petra finished with his hair. "I still don't see why I need my hair needs cut." Levi said as she let him up. Petra rolled her eyes and handed him a mirror. "You did. You were beginning to look a little scruffy." Levi rolled his eyes as well and studied his reflection in the little mirror. Not bad. It was an undercut. The back was shaved down and the top was tamed so he looked like he belonged in some kind of spy movie. The style was also rather familiar. Levi stared hard and then he saw it. For just a fraction of a second he saw himself but in a tan jacket and a forest green cape with wings on the back. He had the same hairstyle as he did now. An undercut. Levi blinked and the vision went away. He was just about to ask Petra why she'd picked this hairstyle when he got a bundle of clothes thrown at him. "Get dressed."  
________________________________________________________

"Eren stop pouting you look like a 5 year old." "I feel like a 5 year old." Eren Jeager answered, increasing the intensity of his pout just to annoy his sister. "I don't need help getting dressed you know. I can do it myself." Mikasa nodded. "I know. But when you do dress yourself you walk out of the dorms looking like a box of crayola crayons." Eren's roommate Jean laughed. "No kidding. I get blinded when I look at you." Eren stuck out his tongue. "Shut up Jean. Like you would look at me anyways. You always have your head up your ass. And who even let you in here? I didn't know they allowed-" "Don't. Say. It." Jean said already knowing what was about to be spoken. Eren smirked evilly. "-horses on campus." Jean roared and Eren burst into laughter. Mikasa told them both to shut up and silence ensued. "Honestly." Mikasa said as she handed her brother a shirt. "I don't know how the two of you made it through high school when you were always fighting." Eren shrugged. "Easy. We fought across the street from the school. It wasn't on school property so they couldn't do anything about it and we could go right back to class." Eren's other roommate Armin shook his head. "Amazing you can think like this when you're not in class but when you took a test you made pictures with the dots." Eren pouted again. "Well not everyone can get a full scholarship Armin." Armin rolled his eyes and turned so Eren could get dressed. "So where are we going?" Eren asked while he pulled his shirt over his head. Mikasa answered. "Sasha found this new place downtown called Rose. I guess it's a new place and she doesn't want to go by herself. Why doesn't she just go with Connie?" Mikasa shrugged. "Told me she doesn't want to go alone with him. Thinks it'll be too much like a date." Eren sighed. His friend Sasha had the worst of crushes on his other friend Connie. Ever since senior year the two of them had been sending each other obvious signals but both of them were too oblivious to notice. Eren was glad he didn't have a crush. He'd had one in middle school and it'd been terrible. All his thoughts had been focused on that one girl. Only to find out she didn't even know his name. From that day on he'd had one rule for himself. Don't fall in love. Love was only a distraction. Something that would keep him from his goal of graduation. That's all he wanted. To see everyone who'd ever doubted him gaping in shock at him as he strode across that stage grinning like a lottery winner. Love could wait until he accomplished that. Eren walked into his dorm bathroom and inspected himself in the full body mirror that Jean had put there because he had ego issues. He guessed he looked pretty okay. His shoulder length chocolate brown hair was put in a ponytail and the red skinny jeans fit him in all the right places. His striped v neck was stretched out from having worn it over and over again. His Converses were muddy but presentable as far as he was concerned. They were going to a club Like anyone would be staring at anything but his ass. His eyes were their normal shade of green blue with amber flecks in them. He didn't look as tired as he felt though he was exhausted. He'd hadn't been sleeping well for the last few days. Every time he was able to drift off he was haunted with nightmares. Last night hadn't been any different. Eren wanted to give up. To let everything fade away. To let everything come to an abrupt end. He'd always imagined death as something quick and painless. The way his mother described it when she told him bedtime stories because he could never sleep. Stories about a hero who saved the land from a ginormous villan and got married to a beautiful woman and lived happily ever after. As soon as Eren heard that story the first time he knew he wanted to be a hero. To be the one who saved his friends and family from a villan. He'd tried hard. Really he had. But no matter what he did everything managed to go wrong. His mother died. His town was destroyed. He was the last one to learn how to use 3DM gear. And all these failures had led to his death. He looked around at the blood bath he stood in. It was unbearably hot in this place. And so horrifying. He wanted out. He needed fresh air so bad. But it was too late. He'd been eaten. He looked around aimlessly halfway looking for an escape and halfway looking for a comfortable place to die. When he moved his hand something grabbed it. He pulled it up and found a bloody girl attached to the limb. "Help me. Please." She begged and Eren shrieked. He watched as the girl slipped back down and found new courage. He didn't want to die here. And he wouldn't. He wouldn't be reduced to some sniffling mob of sadness over this. He wasn't dead yet. And he still had something to live for. He had dreams and hope. He had Armin and Mikasa. He wanted to see the outside world. And he would. So as long as he was alive he would fight. He would kill them all. He looked down at his hand. It was tingling and itching like it was trying to tell him something. He could feel it getting hotter in here and moved away when another half eaten body fell in. Still he stared at his hand. Then he got irritated. How was he supposed to do anything or think of a plan of escape if that he wouldn't leave him alone. He scratched at it furiously and when that didn't work he bit it. He hadn't expected his teeth to go through his hand. Or for all that blood to come out. Or for the extra surge of power that he felt. But he was glad it came. Eren's vision went black and he started to panic. Was he dying already? Before he'd even had a chance? No. Suddenly, Eren could see again. The sun. He could see the sun. And below him at his feet lay the titan that had eaten him. It was laying in a pool of blood. The color of the reddish substance as it glinted in the sun was almost beautiful. But the other titans that were surrounding him weren't. 'How dare you break into my home?' He thought viciously. 'This is my terf. You are the ones who don't belong here. So ill just get rid of you. All of you. You're all gonna die.' And then he charged. Eren shivered in remembrance of that dream. Everything had seemed so vivid and real. Even now he still heard the screams of the people who'd died before him. Could feel that girl's weight on his arm. He could still see Armin holding out his hand for Eren to grab onto and could hear his screams when Eren was swallowed whole. He decided he wasn't going. He wouldn't go to that party. But when he turned to tell his friends that, he found them happy and smiling. No one had died. No one was screaming in pain or agony. Everything was alright. He had no reason to be afraid. He would be okay. Mikasa waved him over and he joined in the conversation for just a few minutes before they left. Eren was the last one out. And for some reason when he looked at his dorm room as he shut the door, he had a feeling his life was about to change forever.


	4. A Date's a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God it took me forever to come up with the way they would meet and how they would start seeing each other again. But I did it. Oh God I did it. Now I'm gonna go take a nap.

Levi sipped on another glass of whiskey and surveyed the room. All around him were drunk college kids. The room's only source of light were the strobes on the ceiling. The bass of the music was hard to hear over and made Levi's fingertips vibrate when he touched the bar counter. He found the people around him to be disgusting. Already 2 drunk girls had asked him if he wanted to 'show them a good time'. He'd been challenged to at least 6 drinking games in the last hour. And just as he'd expected, Hange and Petra had left him as soon as they'd gotten in the building. He could see them now. Dancing next to each other surrounded by a group of wasted boys who were doing a dance that was a mix between humping and straight up sexing. Eww. Levi wrinkled his nose at the smell of dirt and sweat and alcohol in this place. He'd always been a clean person. Being here was not on the highest priority list. He'd only been here for 30 minutes and he already wanted to go home. His feet felt weird in the boots and he felt naked without a jacket on over his white short sleeved shirt. He really wanted to go. But now that Hange was drunk he knew there was no way he'd be able to leave without having to drag that nuisance with him.  
"LEVI!" Speaking of nuisances. Hange appeared next to Levi drink in hand, smile on her face. "LET'S DANCE!" Why was she yelling? Sure the music was loud but she was right next to him. He could've heard her perfectly if she just talked. But that didn't stop her. "COME ON. HAVE SOME FUN. GET THAT STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS!" Hange had better have been glad she was drunk. That was the only reason Levi didn't punch her lights out. As it was she dragged him out on the dance floor and attempted to make him dance. Levi stood still. He wouldn't do it. He refused. Hange wiggled her hips then frowned when Levi didn't do the same. "COME ON! JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE. PLEASE?" She begged. Levi frowned. He'd known Hange long enough to know that once she started begging she wouldn't stop unless she got what she wanted. He sighed and tried to dance. His hips moved awkwardly and he felt out of place. This wasn't right. He really wanted to leave. Or at least get off the floor. And then something clicked. Levi didn't know if it was the whiskey or his body moving on its own but suddenly the music sounded better. Not just bass and melodies but words too. He didn't know who the hell was singing but he could sort of dance now. The lyrics sounded Hispanic and the beat was good enough. 

You just can't stop once ain't enough  
Better lock this down better box it up  
Gotta work me out make it real  
Gotta make it count  
Get stuck on a feeling

He heard Hange whooping up a storm beside him and saw Petra laughing joyously at his attempts. He decided he liked this feeling. Carefree. No bills. No responsibility. Just him his friends and a bunch of whiskey.  
Then he felt something he didn't like. Something rubbing against his ass.He Jerk ed out of his happy daze and whipped around. The guy behind him was tall and bulky. His unnaturally blue eyes glinted like a fake diamond. His smile was even worse. Almost as bad as the obvious smell of Axe one his skin. "He babe. You look really good dancing like that. Why you stop?" Levi looked him up and down. From his Nikes to his horrid haircut he was a true idiotic looking young man. And he did know that Levi was almost twice his age. Right? Oh well. "No thanks." Levi said. "I might be gay but I don't do strangers and I really don't want any STD's." The brat had the nerve to smile even more sickly. "Oh come on now babe. Don't be like that. I could give you the best night of your life." Levi scoffed and put his hand on his hip, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Cause I doubt you could even give me a boner." Did he seriously just say that? Yep. And with no regrets either. "I bet I could." The brat said moving his hands to Levi's hips. Levi sneered. "Don't push your luck kid. Or get a big head. I do t want you and that's that. Now leave before I break your nose. I'm sure there are plenty of other whores you would love to do you and then take your money in the morning." Levi's words had the desired effect and the kid looked hurt. Levi waved him off and turned back to find Hange (she'd probably thought that Levi would get laid and was trying not to interfere) but a hand around his wrist stopped him. The boy yanked him back and sneered even better than Levi had -which said a lot. "You know. Someone should really take that stick out of your ass and put something better in there." That was it. Where was Hange? Levi was about to go to jail for assault. Or maybe even murder. This kid had no right to touch him. Levi could smell the Axe coming off him like poison. He was 2 seconds from breaking this kids wrist, then his nose, then both of his legs. And possibly the rest of his bones. But a voice stopped him from doing so. "Jacob. He said no. Leave him alone." Levi turned his head and frowned. This kid... He was familiar. His skin was tanned and his body was lean and lanky. He was tall too. (why did all these kids have to be giants?) His eyes were...what color were they? Levi couldn't be sure. They were a mix between blue and green and gold. He was frowning but not at him. At the boy who was holding his wrist- Jacob. "Beat it Jeager. This has nothing to do with you." "Actually it does. You see I planned to avoid the crowded dance floor by walking through here to get to the bar. But you and your ego are blocking the way. And this gentleman obviously doesn't want your company. How about you just leave him alone and go fuck a pillow or something?" Jacob growled. "I swear to God Jeager I'll kick your ass if you don't leave." The kid snorted. "Yeah? What shoe size do you wear?" Jacob stuttered. "What?" "Well if you're gonna kick my ass I gotta know how much pain to expect don't I? So what do you say size 13? 14? Somewhere around there? Or are you too much of a horn dog to remember? And by the way, this guy looks like he wants to brake all your bones." Levi frowned deeper. Jacob looked at him and he growled. When the kid let go of his hand he punched him in the nose. Jacob held his nose as it bled and Levi smiled. "Don't touch me without permission." He said. Jacob squeaked and slid away quietly without so much as a glance in Levi's direction. One problem down one to go. That Jeager kid was still there. "Well?" Levi said. "Don't you have to get to the bar counter?" The boy shrugged. "I lied. I don't drink. Not here at least. I just can't stand that guy." Levi grunted in response. "What's his deal anyway?" Another shrug. "He's been an ass for a while. But after his boyfriend dumped him he lost it. Been trying to bone everything and everyone to get revenge. Needless to say it's not working for him." Levi nodded. "He seems to have a really big bone to pick with you." "That's because I'm the reason his boyfriend left him." Levi hadn't really been paying attention to the kid until he heard that. The buzz he'd gotten from those 2 whiskeys was wearing into a headache but he still asked. "What?" Jeager smiled shyly. "Yeah. Apparently I'm a big hit with guys and girls alike. The guy had a crush on me or something. And Jacob hates me because he thinks I stole his 'soul mate.'" The last two words were snorted out as if that was the last thing Jeager wanted to do. Levi took a good long look at the college student before him. He could swear he'd seen those eyes before. But with the strobes getting in the way of their real color he couldn't be sure. Were they green or blue? Or were they red? Now they looked purple. 'Damned strobe lights' Levi thought. He looked back up at the boy and grunted. "So did you lie to save my ass from being molested or did you lie because you hate that guy?" Another shrug. "Little bit of both actually." "Well thanks but I had it handled." "Didn't look that way to me. He's a lot stronger than he looks." Levi smirked and turned back to the crowd. "So am I kid." He didn't wait for a reaction to walk away. Hange was getting on Levi's last nerve. Not that he had any left to be on at all. He'd lost that nerve ages ago. But in all seriousness Hange was going to get it. "Did you get some?" She asked enthusiastically. More like slurred since she was on her 5th glass of Vodka in a 30 minute period of time. "No." Levi ground out, making sure to make his voice sure thoroughly fucked out just to throw her off. Hange frowned. "Then why does your voice sound like that?" "Cause this is my 4th whiskey and I'm feeling kind of tipsy." "No." Petra said after she swallowed a margarita. "You sound like you just got the shit shagged out of you." Levi winced. Petra s never cursed unless the situation called for it or she was drunk as hell. Meaning that since they were both heavily intoxicated and couldn't drive worth shit when wasted it would be up to Levi to get them home. "I didn't get any okay? Besides even if I did I doubt it would've been any good. He's probably still a virgin. It'd be horrible." Petra giggled -another sign that she was drunk. "Okay if not him then what about that other boy you spoke to? What you say his name was? Johnson? Jackson? Jeagermeister?" "Jeager." Petra nodded. "That's the one! What about him?" Levi snorted. "All he did was get the other asshole away from me. I'm not gonna bang him for a reward." Hange interfered. "Maybe not but you could eye fuck the hell out of him." "What?" Hange shrugged. "He's been doing it all night. I think you should at least get a chance to retaliate. Or scare the crap out of him either way you prefer." Levi choked. "He's been what?" "You haven't noticed?" Petra said implying that'd she'd known all along. "Look behind you." Levi turned slowly and tried to not to look creeped out. They were right. That kid was staring directly at him. And didn't bother looking away when he was caught either. Instead he smirked lightly and narrowed his eyes. 'Bastard's toying with me.' Levi growled in his head. That was okay. When he was younger Levi played this game often. With much older men and with good results. He still had the skill even if he didn't use it. And he could certainly use them if need be. Levi narrowed his eyes and flashed a brilliant smile. He tilted his head to the side and stared wide eyed at the boy across the room. Acting innocent seemed to work. Even from where he was he could see the red splashed across the boy's cheeks. How cute. He really thought he could win. "Levi maybe you should ease up a little. Hate for him to get a boner in front of his friends. Levi raised an eyebrow at her. Friends? What friends? Oh. There they were. Levi had been so focused on that kid that he hadn't noticed their existence in the least. He took a few seconds to look at them. The innocent looking blonde boy with shiny eyes. The girl with the black hair and emotionless expression who was sipping on a martini. The boy with the weird hair and drunk expression who was hitting on the dark haired girl - and doing a bad job by the looks of it. The bald boy who was laughing with a girl with brown hair and a nacho in her hand. The boy with the brown hair who was staring longingly at weird hair boy. And last, the blonde girl with the same emotionless face as the other girl. What an odd bunch. Levi watched as weird hair boy picked a fight with Jeager and the two of them stood up only to be yanked back down by the dark haired girl. He watched as the brown haired boy calmed down weird hair boy and the blonde handled Jeager. He saw Jeager roll his eyes before those eyes flicked to him and stayed. Now Levi frustrated. He gave up and looked away to the dance floor where he saw a bunch of boys grinding against one girl. Again. Eww. "So did you win the game?" Petra slurred. Levi frowned and moved her glass away from her when she went back to grab it. Had he won? He wasn't sure. He had looked away first which was a sign of defeat. But he was sure that if he stared into those eyes anymore he'd have burst into flames from their intensity. He shook his head and frowned deeper. He knew that boy from somewhere. That chocolate brown hair that was pulled up in a ponytail. The mischievous spark mixed with determination in those multicolored eyes. That smirk. God he knew that smirk. And Jeager. That name was so familiar. Levi frowned and took out his phone. He winced when the blinding brightness and quickly adjusted. His lock screen flashed at him and he gawked at the numbers on the screen. 2:46 am? When had it gotten so late? He slapped Hange in the arm making her spill her drink. "What?" She mumbled. "It's almost 4 in the morning." Hange hiccuped. "So? We don't have anywhere to go tomorrow." That was true. He had no where to go the next day. In fact he never had any where to go. But he didn't want to be here anymore. Not with all those questions in his head and that strange kid clogging his thoughts and watching him. "You might not but I have to-" Levi thought hard to come up with a convincing lie. He didn't lie often. He hated it to be frank. Lies were what got his old family k...no. Don't think about that. Not now. "-go to the movies with someone." Hange and Petra laughed a little before they realized that he was serious. "Really? Like a date?" Petra asked incredulously. Levi nodded silently cursing his lack of verbal filter. Why had he said that? He wasn't going anywhere tomorrow. Hopefully he could lie and not be asked an ass load of questions about it. "With who?" Both of them inquired at the same time. Damn it all to hell. Well now he had to make up something. Even if Petra gave up Hange would be relentless in getting answers. "It's that Jeager kid isn't it?" She said before Levi could even formulate an imaginary date. "Maybe." Levi said looking away just in case she had ways of knowing when someone was lying. Hange squealed. "Oh let's go!" She grabbed his hand and yanked him out of his seat towards the other side of the room. In the wrong direction from the door. She stopped in front of a table and grinned before shoving Levi out in front of her. Levi mentally cursed. This was that kid's table. The blonde girl, baldy and nacho girl were gone but everyone else was there. And staring right at him. "Well?" Hange said shoving him some more. Levi kicked her in the shin from the back but it didn't seem to faze her. She sighed like a parent dealing with a 2 year old. "You're Jeager right?" She asked pointing right at the kid. He nodded then shook his head. "Actually Jeager is my last name. My name is Eren." Hange smiled wider. "Well Eren, on behalf of my friend Levi I would like to thank you for asking him on a date. He's been so alone for so long." Jeager- Eren raised an eyebrow and the blonde boy frowned. "Eren why didn't you tell us you had plans tomorrow?" Eren frowned too. "I -I didn't know I even had plans tomorrow." Levi glanced up at him and grunted. A signal. 'Help me out kid.' He begged with his mind. Either Eren had some freaky telepathic powers or he really wanted a date because he shrugged. "We'll I guess it's a date." "Wait." Dark haired girl said. "Eren you don't even know him. And you're agreeing to go on a date with him? What if he hurts you?" Levi scoffed. "He hasn't given me a reason to hurt him so I'm not going to." "Well what if she hurts you?" The girl was pointing at Hange. Levi frowned. "Her? Are you joking? Do you see how wasted she is? The only thing she'll be able to do tomorrow is moan on her couch from a killer migraine." The girl tried again to make up an excuse for why Eren shouldn't go only to be interrupted by Eren himself. "Mikasa. It'll be fine. We're not kids anymore. I can protect myself." "But-" Eren held up his hand. "If I get hurt I'll let you know. You don't have to pay me back anymore. I'll be okay." He turned to the blonde. "Armin. Don't let her follow me alright?" Armin nodded and Eren stretched his hand across the table. "What?" Levi said. "Your phone. I need to put my number in it if we're gonna go on a date right?" Levi sighed and handed him his phone. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 4?" Levi nodded blankly before he walked away. When he was far enough away that he felt Eren couldn't hear him he turned and gave Hange a sharp kick to the shin. "Oww!" She shrieked. "What the hell was that for?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" Levi hissed. "Are you fucking mentally retarded? Do you have a metal disability? Why did you do that?" Hange scowled. "Payback for lying to me. If you wanted to leave you should have said so. I've wanted to go for the last hour. I don't like being lied to you know that." Levi groaned and marched to the counter where Petra was lazily talking to the bartender. "Cmon." He said tapping her lightly on the shoulder. "We're leaving. I'll drive. You 2 can stay at my place until tomorrow morning and sober up." "What about your date? Are you still going?" Levi helped her up and started for the door. He dared a glance over to Eren's table and found a pair of multicolored eyes staring him down. "A date's a date isn't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Levi was dancing to was stuck on a feeling by prince royce. Thank you for reading


	5. An Escape

Eren hadn't meant for his nap to last so long. Really it was supposed to be a short nap to get rid of the drowsiness he still had from last night. But of course with all of his naps, this one turned into a coma the second he closed his eyes.

"I will only ask one more time!" Where was he? "Eren Jeager!" Why were Mikasa and Armin here? "Are you a human-" Why was his shirt and pants ripped? "-or a titan?" And why were these people staring at him like he was a murderer? Was he human? What sort of question was that? Of course he was human. 'Aren't I?' He thought. "Answer me Jeager!" The man above him yelled. What was he supposed to say? What answer was he supposed to give to satisfy these people's terrified faces? "I- I'm human!" Eren watched as the man's face went through stages. First shock, as if he hadn't been expecting an answer like that. Then anger. Then sadness . He saw his mouth move and saw his hand raise. 'He's going to tell them to fire the cannons.' Eren didn't know how he knew. He looked at Mikasa. She was staring gravely at him and her lips were moving. What? "-as fast as you can. I won't let them touch you." "What?" Armin asked. "No Mikasa don't do that. We just have to think logically. I'm sure there's a reason for all this." Eren heard a loud bang and looked over just in time to see the first cannon ball burst from the cannon. He yanked Mikasa and Armin into his arms and looked at his thumb. For a split second he hesitated. If these people were accusing him of being inhuman, wouldn't this just make things worse? But then he snapped out of it. They wanted to kill him and take his friends with him. He could argue morals later when they were all safe. He bit his hand and almost flinched at the metallic taste of his blood. He extended his hand and felt- whatever that was- crawl up his arm. He felt the humidity of the steam and the gasps of his friends. Then he heard the scared screaming of everyone else. A vibration on Eren's stomach woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and searched for the source to find his phone. He clicked one home screen and groaned. So. Many. Messages. And most of them were from his sister. He checked and sure enough. 'Eren' 'Eren are you okay?' Eren you're sleeping aren't you?' 'Eren wake up' 'Eren?' Eren shook his head. Then he checked the only one that wasn't from Mikasa. It was from Armin. 'Eren. So help me God if you don't text Mikasa back I'm slapping you.' That jarred him awake. Armin wasn't one to resort to violence. So if he was threatening something like that this fast then Mikasa's mother hen mode must've been in double overdrive. Eren shook his head again. He loved his sister. Really he did. But she was intensely overprotective. She'd followed him anywhere he went. Even turned down a scholarship to Yale to attend Trost University with him. She was letting him drag her down and as much as he loved her, as much as he wanted to be selfish and let her stay for him, he hated himself for doing this. He decided to let that go. Mikasa was a big girl. She could handle her own. Although she seemed to think him incapable of doing the same. He fired off an apology to Armin and then shot another one to his sister. For a second he wondered just how many texts Armin had received before he woke up. Then he remembered that Mikasa could text faster than a cheetah could run and decided that even he couldn't count that far. Another apology was briefly sent to Armin. With that aside Eren sat up and looked around. His dorm was tidy- meaning that either Armin had come and straightened everything while he was still in his mini comatose or that it was already clean and Jean just hadn't come back yet. He really didn't care which was truth as long as he didn't have to trip over Jean's shoes. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and wondered what he had to do today. He k we there was something. It was right there. Right on the tip of his tongue. Then the night before came back to memory. Right. He'd agreed to take a guy on a date. Eren laughed at his own stupidity. Why on earth had he said yes to that? The invitation was obviously one influenced by alcohol (if the reddish tinge on that guy's face had anything to say about it) so he could have easily declined. Could've simply said no and been done with it. For a minute he thought about not getting up at all. Just sitting in his dorm and binge watching Netflix all day. Then again it was Saturday. He never did anything on Saturdays. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was tired of doing nothing. Would this most likely be a one time thing? Yes. Would he be short a couple 20 dollar bills? Probably. Would Mikasa be upset about it for a while? Definitely. But Eren wanted something like that. Something that would take his mind off of everything for even a moment. Anything that could give him freedom from the thoughts of his old life would be welcomed in his eyes even if it wasn't to anyone else's. That was why he'd done this. Why he'd agreed to something so unusual and spur of the moment without hesitation. An escape. An escape from the past that seemed to follow him everywhere. ________________________________________________________ Eren's first attempt to end his life was when the dreams started. Right after his mom died. They were horrible vivid nightmares that would leave him shaking and gasping for air. He'd been standing at the top of the bridge waiting for the perfect moment. The water looked so warm and comforting though he knew that from heights like that he'd probably splatter on impact. Unfortunately for him and his certain insanity, the police had shown up just as he'd put his foot over the ledge. Eren's second attempt hadn't even been intentional. It was a few months after his first try and his father was finally learning to trust him again. He'd even let Eren get his license. To celebrate, Eren had been allowed to take the car out for his first drive alone. He really hadn't meant to turn off the road the way he had. But as he was driving he he was reminded of all the times he'd been in this car. Singing weird road trip songs with his mother even though they were only going to the store. The thought of his mother sent him over the edge and suddenly the asphalt was beginning to look rather inviting. His hand had jerked the wheel to the right and the car had done a barrel roll. Surprisingly enough, Eren made it out of that one with very minimal physical damage. Unsurprisingly, the car had been totaled,Eren's father had to take the bus to work for a while and Eren wasn't allowed near a vehicle or even a set of car keys without supervison. Erens last and final attempt on his life was after a particularly horrid nightmare. He'd dreamt that he'd watched his mother get eaten alive. He'd heard her screams of pain and heard his own rip out of him. The worst part was that he couldn't move. All he could do was watch like an innocent bystander. When he'd finally been able to wake himself up, he'd reached for the first thing he could think of: the pocket knife on his dresser. The sharp object was really only in case someone broke in and was kept a guarded secret from his father and sister. But that night Eren had another purpose in mind. He'd made a quick slash across his wrist just to see how badly it would hurt. He was relieved when he had to hold back a scream. The more pain the better. But this chance would be wasted as well. Mikasa had woken up early and hadn't gone back to sleep. Eren knew she always checked up on him while he slept (mostly because when she came in he wasn't sleep and all) but he hadn't expected her to open the door at the precise moment he'd pressed the knife to his jugular. ________________________________________________________ Eren shuddered at the thought of the way he used to be. His attempts to end it all had ultimately lost him his freedom. It had taken months for Eren to convince his dad to let him go to college. And even then Mikasa had offered to come along to keep watch over him. He doubted that he would ever be trusted on his own. Maybe that was another reason why he'd accepted this whole date thing so fast. This guy didn't know him. Didn't know that he'd tried to kill himself. And if Eren had anything to say about it, he never would. That would stay a secret between him and his closest friends. Eren checked his phone again and wasn't shocked to see how late it was. 4:15 pm. He'd fallen asleep at 10 in the morning. But then he remembered. He was supposed to pick up that guy at 4. He was late. Eren shifted into high gear, quickly moving all negative thoughts to the back of his mind with a practiced ease. He slid his shoes on and grabbed his car keys. He texted the anonymous number in his phone that he knew belonged to the guy from the club. 'Hi. It's Eren. Sorry I'm late. I don't know where you live.' The reply was so fast Eren would have laughed if it wasn't for the harsh language used. 'No shit you're late Sherlock. And I'm not giving you my damn address. I've had enough fucking stalkers in my lifetime. Just tell me where you're going and I'll meet you.' Eren frowned. He was gonna drive? But wasn't he still hungover? 'Are you sure that's safe? You looked pretty wasted last night. Driving may not be safe yet. I could just pick you up.' Eren read over that last message and scoffed. As if he had any right to talk about 'safe driving'. He'd tried to kill himself in a car. Compared to that this guy couldn't be any worse. Right? Again the reply was instantaneous. 'Relax brat. This isn't the first time I've gotten hammered and drove the next day. Hell I made it home in one piece didn't I? And no you may not pick me up. I have guests over. And one of them has a bad habit of freaking out new people. I'll meet you. Where are we going?' Eren stopped halfway in his car. He hadn't thought of that at all. Where would they go? What would they do? A movie and dinner seemed awfully cliché but it was all he had. 'Meet me at the Old theater?' Eren turned on the ignition and was at his 5th red light before he got back a text. 'A movie? Really? Whatever.' He sighed and turned off his phone deciding that the sound of the engine was getting rather annoying. He clicked the radio on and grumbled when nothing he wanted to listen to was on. At the next red light he fiddled with the tune dial and grumbled some more because even then the radio was all commercials. Finally he gave up and switched to Aux mode. At least now he could rely on some music that was more suitable to his taste.The first song belted out of the speaker and Eren belted right along with it. He loved this song. (even though he'd only downloaded it because he liked the intro at first.) He passed through traffic lights no problem and was at the theater before he knew it. Eren looked around and parked the car. Then he took a deep breath. Finally. He was getting it. His second chance. His escape.


	6. First Dates and a Broken Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren doesn't know why he's going through with this. Maybe he's just delusional. Maybe he's lonely. But one things for sure. This Levi guy might be just what he needs. If only he hadn't made him cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get this up. Between testing and my other story, it was kind of hard to keep up. But I did it. At 3 am. It's done. Now it's nap time.

Eren didn't know what to expect. He knew what the guy looked like. He remembered that information perfectly. He had black hair that was freshly cut in an undercut. The clothes he'd been wearing the night before had been carelessly casual as if he wasn't even trying. Even then Eren liked his appearance.  
If only he had known that his vision was being toyed with by the strobe lights of the club. The way this guy looked the night before had nothing on the way he looked now. Eren could see him perfectly in the afternoon sun. He was... Eren couldn't even find the words. He wouldn't call this man beautiful as that would mean he was feminine. Even though he was, Eren figured that he could very well hold his own. He was short by normal standards but what he lacked in height he made up for with everything else. His skin was almost ghostly pale, contrasting perfectly with his raven black hair that still looked pristine and freshly cut. He wore simple clothes: black jeans, grayish button up with a white shirt underneath and black loafers. Simple. But on him it looked heavenly. He held a cigarette between his lips and blow out a billow of smoke when he noticed Eren. "Eren." He said crisply before he dripped the cigarette and stomped it out. When he caught the look of disgust on Eren's face he sighed. "Relax kid. It's only one. Just took one room a friend" Eren frowned. He wasn't disgusted because of the fact that this guy smoked. He was okay with that. It was the memories that came with the cigarette. No. He wasn't going to think about that. Not now. Not when he was trying to escape. He held out his hand. "I'm Eren. It's nice to meet you...again" "Levi." Eren nodded and looked up at the board that showed which movies were out. "So.. what do you want to watch?" Levi raised an eyebrow. "You invited me on a movie date and you have no idea what to watch?" Eren smirked. "Um you invited me on a date." "Technically I lied about having a date so I could leave the club and I used you as a fake date." Eren shrugged and glanced at him again. Levi. Even his name was casual. He seemed kind of laid back and neutral. He was gazing up at the board in concentration. His mouth moved and then he looked over at Eren. "Huh?" Levi sighed. "I said we could watch that new horror movie if you can handle it." Eren smirked. Horror movies were nothing compared to what he'd been through. "I think I can handle it." He said as he opened the door letting Levi walk in first. Eren was wrong. So wrong. He stared down at his hamburger and his stomach churned. He groaned and slammed his head on the table in frustration. "Ouch." He said blandly. "You okay kid?" Levi asked. Eren peeked up. The man in front of him was smirking, brows raised, wolfish blue gray eyes glinting. Eren groaned in response. Levi rolled his eyes. "The movie got to you didn't it?" Eren stared sickly at his burger. "Is it just me or does that sandwich look like a bloody body?" Levi sighed. "Knew you couldn't handle it." "I can handle it." Eren protested. "I just- I simply need some time to get over all that blood." He hugged his stomach as it turned again and grumbled. "Guess I won't be eating that red velvet cake Mikasa said she was gonna make. Ah man." Eren heard Levi snicker a little and scowled. "What's so funny?" "You're complaining about not getting to eat cake? You sound like a 6 year old. And you're not even going to try to eat?" "After watching that blonde girl get cut into pieces like a bloody piece of paper? I'd rather not." "You know that's no way to act on a date." Eren rolled his eyes. "So now it's a date? What happened to 'I lied to get out of the club and you just happened to be a good excuse'?" Levi sipped on his iced tea. "I'd never said this wasn't a real date. I haven't exactly been out as much as I'd like to be I guess. Maybe Hange was right. I need a break from work." Eren glanced up. "Where do you work anyway?" "Recon Corp." Any nausea Eren had been feeling washed away as his jaw dropped. Recon Corp was the biggest game maker in the country. Maybe even the world. The company's founder and CEO Erwin Smith was a certified genius. They specialized in creating the most weird and abstract games that for some reason always sold off the shelves. To get a copy of a game before it came out would set you back hundreds possibly even thousands if dollars. But it was worth it. Recon games were that good. Eren had heard that the company had many valuable assets and getting into that inner circle was next to impossible. So of course Eren would have killed to work there. "You work at the biggest gaming company ever and you didn't bother to tell me?" Eren gawked. Levi shrugged. "You didn't ask." "Don't you think that's the kind of thing that you tell someone on a first date?" Eren said. "You know-. My name is Levi. I like intimidating people. My favorite color is gray. I work for the biggest gaming company in the industry. That'd be nice to know." Levi sipped his tea again (It was his third one already) and asked for the check. The waitress obliged and ran off to do his bidding. "I intimidate people?" He asked almost innocently. Eren blinked. This guy had no idea...? Eren thought back to how the date had gone. When they'd gotten to the ticket booth the employee had made the mistake of asking Levi if he was sure he was old enough to see the movie. The glare that guy had received would've killed the poor guy had Eren not smoothly placed his body between Levi's and the counter. During the movie Levi had grunted in annoyance every time some one died. At one point when the girl kept asking, "Hello?" And "Who's there?" Levi had gritted out. "Who the fuck else do you think it is you dumb bitch? Jack Frost? The Easter Bunny? God you're gonna die and I'm gonna laugh." And if that wasn't enough, his attitude toward their waitress was. Eren figured that by now if he was her he'd have either quit, spit in Levi's food, asked for a raise, or straight up punched Levi in the face for his rudeness. The poor girl was probably having a heart attack after the array of harsh words she'd received for not bringing Levi's tea when he wanted it. Eren made sure he would tip big for once. "You're joking right?" He asked. When all he got was a blank stare Eren sighed. "Dude you almost killed that theater employee and our waitress is probably worried for her life as well." Eren's point was made when their waitress trudged to their booth and shyly slid the check on the table. "Is there anything else you two need?" She squeaked. Eren shook his head before Levi could answer and brought out his wallet. He took out 2 twenty's and watched as Levi brought out a credit card. "What's that for?" Eren asked pointing to the little plastic silver card. "Paying the check." "But I have money." Levi shook his head. "I brought you here on accident and made you pay for your movie ticket. The least I can do to compensate is pay for the meal." For a few seconds the two of them had a staredown. Eren wasn't used to people doing things for him without asking for something in return. He'd almost always had to do things himself. Even though it was only dinner Eren didn't like it. But the look Levi was giving him said that he didn't have a choice. He sighed, thanked Levi and put his money away. "So... Recon." Eren said as he and Levi walked down a crowded street. "Why Recon?" Levi shrugged. "The CEO is my friend." Eren's jaw dropped for the second time. "Erwin Smith? You're friends with Erwin Smith?" Levi nodded slowly. "Yes he is. He's also a pain in the ass with eyebrows too big for his damn face." Eren couldn't argue with that. He'd seen pictures of Erwin. The guy did have rather large and bushy eyebrows. Just thinking about it made him want to giggle. And giggle he did. "Why are those things so big? It's like two catapillars set up shop on his face." Levi gave him a sideways almost mini smile. "You should see them up close. And when he's mad. Those two catapillars become one big fat string of yarn." Eren held his stomach and took deep breaths while Levi smirked. "Where do you work?" Levi asked. Eren paled. He really should have seen that one coming. After all it was only a matter of time. He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to come up with an answer when the man next to him beat him to it. "You don't have one do you?" Eren sighed and shook his head. No. He did not have a job. Although having one would have helped. A lot. "It's not like I'm too lazy to find one. I've been searching for like forever. But all the job offerings are so stuffy and stuck up. And they have nothing to do with what I want to do. I want to like my job not be stuck in a cubicle all day in a suit and tie." Levi grunted in acknowledgment. "What do you do?" "What?" "You said the offerings you got didn't have anything to do with what you do. What is it that you do?" Eren frowned and readied himself for the ridicule. It seemed like every time he told someone what he was doing, what he wanted to do, he'd get scolded. 'You need to make a realistic decision about your life.' Or some other bullshit. But to Eren, this was a realistic life choice. There was nothing else he wanted to do. And he was good at it so why the hell not? If he enjoyed it and he was capable of doing it then why put him down? "I want to be an artist. Not just a graphics designer though I heard that's really cool. But I wanna be like a modern Leonardo da Vinci. I know it's stupid and I'll probably never do it but I really want to." Again, he waited for the protests and the arguing to start like it always did. But he got nothing. He opened his eyes- after he realized that he'd closed them and turned around. Levi was standing behind him. His gray eyes were wide and he was shaking a little. He looked like he'd just been slapped out of a nightmare. Eren frowned and walked back to him. "Hey. Are you- are you okay?" "An artist huh?" Levi chuckled. "That's good. That's real good. I'm sure you'll be great." Then Eren saw it. One single tear- followed by 3 more- that flowed down his cheek. Levi looked up and smiled almost sadly. The smile wasn't a full blown smile but it was big enough to see the tragedy Levi was trying to hide by using it. "You're gonna be the best artist ever." ________________________________________________________ Levi mentally cursed himself as he sped home. He cursed the tears that had fallen and he cursed the ones that still were. He'd cried. He'd lost control and let his bad memories ruin a good day. All because of one word. One stupid sentence. 'I want to be an artist.' Levi couldn't do much more than focus on the road so he wouldn't crash. He fought against the raging feeling of being dead and pushed the pedal a little harder, ignoring the fact that he was doing 70 in a 45 zone. Only when he made it home did he let himself drown. Drown in the memories of his old life. And the people he'd lost. He locked the door behind him and shut off his phone, knowing that Hange had a radar for his sadness and would call all day. That was the last thing he needed. He marched to his room and shut that door too. He closed the curtains and lay in his bed. Then he let the memories flow. Levi flicked the small girl in front of him in the forehead. "Hey. Get up. Stop lazing around and do your homework." Said girl let out a muffled groan and opened one forest green eye. "No. Homework is stupid and has nothing to do with what I wanna do. I refuse to participate in this idiotic ritual of homework completion for the acceptance of my teachers. They can go suck it." Levi flicked her forehead again. "If you don't study, you won't graduate and you won't go to college and you may end up being a hobo. Do you wanna be a hobo?" "I won't be a hobo." The girl hissed. "Then what are you gonna be then?" Levi teased. "An artist." "Isabel." Farlan's voice whined, dragging out the 'L' in the red haired girl's name. "We just talked about this. You can't be an artist." "I can too." Isabel protested. "I can be be an artist and I will be an artist. I don't care what you or anyone else says. I'm gonna be the best damn artist you've ever heard of. More famous than da Vinci or Rapheal." Levi smacked her forehead this time. "Don't cuss. And an artist isn't the most stable way of life Iz." "I. Don't. Care. I'm gonna be an artist and there's nothing either of you can do about. And when I'm rolling in dough and you're all sad and stuffy, don't come crying to me." Levi and Farlan glanced at each other with exasperated but fond expressions. Isabel was a handful. But when she said she would do something, she would do it. Levi admired that about her. But there was still one more problem to be solved. The one on her math homework. "Seriously just do it!" "No!" The happiness ended 2 weeks later when Farlan was diagnosed with lung cancer after complaining about not being able to breathe. He died about 3 months later. Levi couldn't look at the casket as it lowered into the ground. He didn't dare let anyone see the streams of tears on his face. He and Isabel became distant after that. He threw himself into his school work and didn't bother helping her with hers. He didn't make it to her high school graduation though he'd promised. He wasn't there to celebrate when she got accepted to the most prestigious art school. And he wasn't there when a drunk driver ran her over as she walked home from her party because he didn't pick her up. An aspiring artist who never made it to her dream. Because of him. Levi didn't listen to the attempts at telling him he was wrong. He knew what he'd done. And he knew it was his fault. He stayed locked in his house and refused to leave until he was dragged out by an insistent Erwin. Things got a little better after that. He made a few friends and got a few promotions. But even then, his depression was eating him alive. As it was doing now. Levi shoved his head into a pillow and cursed the tears that kept flowing, soaking into the pillowcase and only making it harder to breathe. Then it hit him. The waves of guilt and depression that swallowed him whole. He was out of bed and rifling through his nightstand in a matter of seconds. Where was it? Where was it? His hand scraped against the smooth hilt of what he was looking for and he pulled it out. The knife glinted in the barely lighted room and Levi swallowed hard. He had bought this knife on a whim. It had been initially been for self protection since he lived in the bad side of town when it was purchased. But now it had become a sort of safety net for when things got too intense and he couldn't handle it. Like now. He flicked open the covering and stared at the silver blade. It was as sharp as ever. It always was. Levi made sure to sharpen it after every session. His breathing was labored as he brought the sharp blade to his skin. He wanted to stop. Really he did. But his brain kept telling him he deserved it. 'She died alone on the street because of you.' It'd say. 'Feel her pain.' And feel he did. Levi didn't cry out like he used to when he felt the first bite if pain take hold. In fact he relished in it. Finally some closure. He did deserve this. Deserved to feel some of the pain Isabel felt that night. To take some of her burden and add it to his own. With every slash, he felt more and more calm. Slowly the walls crept back to where they belonged and the shadowy tendrils slithered back into his past where they were caged. By the time Levi was done, the sun was completely down and he was a bloody mess. He cleaned and bandaged his arm and sharpened his knife before he put it away and laid in his bad, staring at the ceiling. Now that he didn't have to worry about the weight on his shoulders,his brain decided that he needed more to make up for the lost weight. "I cried in front of him." He said out loud. Then the seriousness of his situation hit him and he nearly threw up. He'd lost control. He'd let himself get triggered and had lost all the stability he'd worked so hard to build up. He'd broken a life rule. Rule number 2: Don't think about it outside of the apartment. That rule applied to his past as well. And he'd just shattered it. Blown it to smithereens with a fucking bazooka over one God damn word. And worse still, he'd done it in public. In front of a kid he barely knew. He smacked himself in the forehead and glared at the ceiling. "Don't look at me like that." He said to the imaginary ceiling demon that he'd made up on one particularly bad Thursday night. Lilly, he called her. "I know I'm pathetic. But it was hard not to cry. You would have done the same thing. He sounded just like her." 'And?' Lilly sneered back in his head. 'That's your excuse for breaking a rule? That's not okay.' "I know it's not. But...I didn't know how to handle it. It's hard without her here." 'You're a tough man. You'll live. Now get the fuck up and go take a shower. You smell like sadness and tears. It's burning my nose.' Levi sighed. "Why do I even listen to you? You aren't eve real. Just a figment of my imagination. And you don't have a nose. And I am 99 percent sure that sadness doesn't have a smell." But he stood anyway because Lilly was right. He smelled awful. And he still had a bit of hangover. He walked to the bathroom with little grace and turned the water to steaming so he would feel the burn. He stepped in and hissed at the sudden burst of unwelcome heat. Then he calmed down and settled into the shower. He lathered himself with soap and scrubbed away the hopeless and pathetic feeling that clung to his skin. He washed away the tears that had soaked into his pores. And then he washed his hair. Levi climbed out of the shower and dried himself off. Then he threw on a pair of pajama pants and a white shirt before he trudged into the living room where he'd left his phone and turned it back on. He saw it coming. The excess of messages and voicemail from Hange and Petra combined that gave him a headache at the thought of reading all of them. Even the first few from Hange gave him a migraine. 'Are you alive?' 'He wasn't a serial killer was he?' 'Did you share a drink like two high schoolers?' 'Are you getting laid right now?' Levi rolled his eyes and switched to the other messages he'd received just to avoid calling his problematic friend and cussing her out for 20 minutes. He found stability when he saw a small number of texts from Petra. All of them were short and to the point. 'How'd it go?' 'Did you get home safe or am I interrupting your date?' Hange wants me to ask if you're getting laid.' Not wanting to type the same thing twice, Levi sent them a group message stating that yes he was okay, he'd had a relatively fun time, and he had not gotten laid. He waited for the other 2 to text back and nearly threw his phone at the wall when he received Hange's reply. 'So you didn't get laid? Wasn't that the whole time of going on a date with him?' Thankfully, Petra responded before he could. 'Hange. I would suggest that you let that go. I get the feeling that Levi's a little strung out at the moment.' Strung out had nothing on how he felt. His arms still stung and his head felt like shit. And he was suddenly drowsy. He gave up on conversation and thanked Petra for being the mediator between his rage and Hange's idiocy, before he shut his phone off and crawled into bed for what he hoped would be a peaceful sleep. He would be wrong.


	7. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. Kind of hard to do that without wifi. But hopefully I made this chapter long enough to make up for it...hopefully.

For the first time since he could remember, Levi didn't dream about giant humanoids or swords or him being a captain.

Instead, he dreamed of his old life. With his adopted siblings before they became true members of society. 

"I cannot believe you got caught!" Farlan yelled at Isabel as they ran from the old lady they'd attempted to steal from.  
Isabel screeched as she almost slipped. "That old lady should not have raptor vision. It's not fair. And it's not okay!"

They turned a corner and ducked into an alley. In front of them stood a chain link fence. They climbed it easily.  
"No. What isn't okay is the fact that your lack of attention lost us our dinner." Farlan spat.  
Isabel growled. "Give me a break. I haven't eaten in a while so my brain is working kind if slow. And you were supposed to be looking out for me instead of gorging on food."

"Both of you shut it." Levi growled. "It's all of our faults damn it. It's my fault for not distracting that old lady like I should have. It's Farlan's fault for not looking out the way he should have. And it's Isabel's fault for not staying hidden. Our failure was a team effort so shut the hell up and quit screaming. You're giving me a fucking headache."  
Farlan and Isabel apologized in unison, though Isabel quickly added under her breath, "It's not my fault I'm so hungry. Those stupid shop owners aren't very nice."  
Levi sighed and led them through the back alleys to an old looking house. To the rest of the city, that house was abandoned. To Levi and his family, it was home. Levi had done his best to keep the house clean and presentable, going as far as to steal bleach when he had to. He had a job that didn't pay in checks but that didn't always cover it. So when they didn't have enough money to buy food, they stole it. 

Needless to say, that didn't always go well. 

Farlan groaned as he plopped on the floor next to Isabel who was content just laying there like a dead man. Levi was disturbed by how much that comparison bothered him. He lightly prodded Isabel in the tush with his foot and watched her roll over to make room for him. He squished himself between his siblings and almost smiled at the way they both leaned into him. 

"Big bro?" Isabel asked affectionately. Levi responded instantly to the nickname Isabel had given him. She'd been using m it for as long as he could remember. And he didn't care that she was too old to use childish nicknames.  
"Yeah." He answered gruffly.  
"Are we gonna be okay?" 

Levi frowned and looked down at his adopted sister. She was tucked into his side, almost nuzzling. Her expression was a mix of content and sad.  
Levi sent her a rare smile. "We'll figure it out."

"Yeah." Farlan added. "We'll be okay. Levi's smart. And we can fight. We're gonna be fine."  
Isabel nodded and smiled. "We're gonna be fine." She cooed as she drifted off to sleep. 

They would not be okay.  
_________________________________________________________

"Levi!" Isabel yelled as she fought against the people who'd adopted her. "Lemme go! I'm not leaving without my brothers!"  
"They're not your brothers sweetie." The blonde lady who had signed the adoption papers tried to convince. Isabel wasn't having any of that. She screeched and fought and even bit until the woman let her run back into Levi's arms. 

"I'm not going." She pouted when Levi tried to push her away. "I don't like her. She's not right. She was looking at me weird. I'm not leaving."

"Iz you have to go." Farlan whined, on the verge of tears. "She adopted you. She's your mom now."  
Isabel shook her head. "No she's not. She's just a stranger. You guys are family." Levi doesn't argue with her. When Isabel makes a decision, she sticks with it, no matter how stupid it may seem. Levi stepped forward and stood in front of his siblings. "I'm afraid she's made her choice. Can I ask you to leave?" The woman shook her head angrily. "I paid a lot of money and I came all this way to get her. She's my daughter now and I'm not leaving without her." "Either you leave without her or you leave without your kneecaps." He gave a practiced cold hard stare. "Your choice lady. But I'd really hate to have to do the second option. Blood isn't easy to get out of whites." The woman looked scared and briskly walked away. Levi knew she would be back to complain and get Isabel. After all she had adopted her legally. But he trusted his sister's instincts. If she said that someone or something wasn't right, he believed her. So he knew that that woman wasn't right. He knew it. He knew it when Isabel didn't show up at dinner. He knew it when she didn't attempt to annoy him all day. And he knew it when she didn't barge into his room at bedtime to hug him to death because they weren't allowed to sleep in the same room no matter how attached they were. But he didn't act upon his suspicions until long after lights out. Levi crawled out the window of their shared bedroom, careful not to wake any of the other orphans. Farlan followed him down and landed smoothly on his toes. "How are we supposed to know where she is?" Farlan said. "We don't exactly have a GPS system to track her." "No." Levi said slyly, producing a manila folder. "But we do have that lady's adoption form." "Yeah. So?" "Adoption form means address which means finding Izzy. And if we find Izzy, we get to punch the lady in the face." Farlan grinned. "Now you're talking." Levi scowled at the picture in front of him. Isabel was tied in chains with her clothes ripped. She looked bruised and beaten. But not as bruised and beaten as the guy in front of her was going to be. Levi cracked his knuckles and growled. "Get. Your. Filthy. Disgusting. Horrible. Hands. Off of my sister. Now." The man flinched away from Isabel and faced Levi, revealing a part of him that Levi would've preferred not to see. The man sneered. "What 'cha gonna do about it kid? She was begging for it." That's what set Levi off. He didn't know what he did after that. Everything became a foggy red. But according to Farlan, he'd lost it, punched the guy's lights out. Completely ruined him. By the time Farlan had recovered from shock long enough to pull Levi off, the guy was a bloody, battered pleading mess. But Levi didn't care about him. He marched over to Isabel and picked the locks on her chains the way he used to before they were found and put in the orphanage. Isabel fell into him, shaking and shivering like a dog in the rain. That only made him angrier. The blood between her legs was almost enough to make him go back to punch the guy some more. But Isabel kept a tight grip on him. "Levi." She croaked, as if she'd spent too long screaming for her voice to come out right. That only made him angrier. "What did he do to you?" Levi asked, knowing he wouldn't like the answer but needing a justified reason in punching something. Isabel shook her head. "Not him. He's not the one. It's her. That lady. She sold me to him, said I was his slave until the morning, that I had to do whatever he told me to. She's evil." "Guess what Isabel? We got another buyer. How'd you like to be in a threesome?" Levi stiffened at the presence of a new person in the room. He turned slowly, making sure to keep his sister behind him as he did so to protect her. The sight made him want to become an arsonist for a day. It was the woman who'd adopted Isabel. She was standing in the doorway, a wad of money in her hand and a shocked face. Levi growled. "You bitch." Before he could think about his decision, he was lunging at the woman, screaming like an amazon warrior. The first punch landed on her face. The next on her stomach. He aimed a sharp knee to the woman's gut and dragged her head down to give another knee to the her face. He smacked her head onto the floor and held it there with his foot. "What gives you the right? What gives you the right to do this to her? To lead her on and fake like you're her mother so you can make a quick buck?" A blow to the chest."That girl is innocent. And you- you ruined her! You filthy rat. I should kill you now. Send you straight to hell. But I'm not that nice." A well placed kick to the crotch- a low blow but a necessary one. " I'll make you suffer. What did you do to her while she was here?" When the woman didn't speak, Levi crunched his foot into her cheek and she squeaked. "Ow Ow Ow Ow." "I won't ask again. What. Did you do. To my sister. While she was here?" "I dragged her in here and slapped her when she fought back. Then I tied her up and took pictures to show to a few clients-" "Clients? You mean those brutes who molested my little sister?" "Please don't hurt me." The woman cried. "What else? What else did you do? What else?!" "They paid me to have sex with her and I took the money. Then I lead them here and they...they did that. Please don't kill me." "How many?" "What?" "How many men did you let in here to rape her? She's bleeding. How many men came in here?" "Five." The woman sobbed pathetically. Levi growled and crunched his foot even more and heard a satisfying crunch. "Five?" He said, rage barely controlled in his shaky voice. "You let five grown, filthy, hairy, and probably married men, take advantage of my baby sister?" "I- I'm sorry." Levi scowled, eyes burning with murderous intent. "Not as sorry as you're going to be." He turned to Farlan who was holding onto Isabel and whispering comforting words in her ear. "Get her out of her. Take her back home and fix her up. I don't want a scratch on her when I come back." "But what about you?" Levi smirked evilly at the cowering woman below his foot. He glanced at the folder I'm his hands and found a name. Katrina Jethro. "Me and Mrs. Jethro have some unfinished business to attend to. I'll be back as soon I can." Farlan nodded and picked Isabel up. Levi waited until they were gone before he turned sadistic. "Five men huh? Well I bet I can top that." Mrs. Jethro's horrified screams were all that the neighbors heard for hours. _________________________________________________________ Levi's eyes flashed open and he quick to sit up. He quickly memorized his surroundings and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he wasn't in that woman's horror house. He ran his fingers through his hair and felt the fuzz of his undercut under his fingers. "Just a dream." He reminded himself. "Nothing but a dream." That didn't stop his heart rate from skyrocketing for a few more minutes until he was completely calm. He flopped back onto his pillow and groaned in agony. "Get out." He said, slapping furiously at his forehead, trying to erase the memory of that night. "Get the fuck out of there." 'That's not going to work idiot.' A female voice said in his head. 'Slapping yourself silly won't make it go away. But please feel free to try. Maybe you'll knock in some goddamned common sense while you're at it.' "What are you talking about Lilly? I have plenty of common sense. I'm just not using it right now." Levi said,irritation leeching from his voice. 'You also didn't use it last night when you turned your phone off. That shitty four eyed friend of yours has probably blown up your battery by now.' Levi sat up again. Lilly was right. There was no way that Hange would have left him alone or even bothered to respect the boundaries of a sleeping man. He was out of bed and at his nightstand faster than he would've thought possible. The time it took for his phone to turn on was infuriating and nerve wracking. But even more nerve wracking was the extensive amount of missed calls and messages. Most of them were from Hange. 'Hey. Wake up.' 'Levi. Come on sleepy head. Time to get up.' "Levi. No more sleepy time.' 'Levi.' 'Levi.' 'Levi?' 'Are you okay?' 'Levi? Are you awake?' The rest were just repetitions of his name and asking if he were okay. Levi scrolled through the rest of the messages and was surprised to see that a lot of them were from Petra: 'Hey.' 'Levi. Hange and I are worried.' 'Can you pick up?' 'Hey. Are you okay?' 'I know you're probably still asleep but it's almost 2 in the afternoon. I feel like something is wrong.' 'Levi. Please answer me. Hange won't leave me alone with her theories and they're getting to me.' 'Just out of curiosity, you aren't dead are you?' 'Sorry about that. Hange was convinced that you were ignoring her and took my phone to text you.' Levi sighed and rubbed his temple. He just couldn't catch a break. "Hey." He said, talking to Lilly. "What do you think Hange would do if I didn't text her back?" 'She'd probably do something insane and drag the other one over here to check on you. Then once she knew you were safe, she'd raid your fridge.' Levi almost laughed at that. Almost. But unfortunately, the joke wasn't a joke at all. Hange was that spontaneous. She'd be worried as shit one minute and the next, she was driving you insane. "So I have to call them back huh?" He said, already dreading the amount of questions he'd have to answer. 'If you aren't gonna call then at least text. Otherwise you're gonna have some unwanted guests.' Lilly replied sarcastically. Levi sighed and glanced at his phone just as it vibrated. The screen lit up with a picture of Hange (a selfie she'd taken after stealing Levi's phone and he never had the heart or care to delete) and some Justin Timberlake song started playing as her ringtone. (Why did he let her pick that one?) He let it go to voicemail while he thought about the pros and cons of answering the call. Pro: He'd get it out of the way. Con: He had no clue what to say. ("Yeah I'm fine just been having horrible nightmares and talking to my bitch of an imaginary friend. How's your day been?") Pro: After he sorted this all out, things would go back to normal. Con: Sadly, normal for him was extremely abnormal for anyone else on the planet. By the time he'd made up his mind, Hange had called ( and been sent to voicemail) 4 more times. He answered on the fifth call with a slightly annoyed tone. "Hange. You're gonna blow up my fucking phone." "But you didn't answer me." Hange whined. Levi sighed. "My phone was off and I just woke up." Levi heard a shuffle and a whisper of voices before Hange replied. "Levi. It's like 2:30. In the afternoon. You never sleep this late. What happened?" "Nothing. I was just really sleepy." "You're never sleepy. Ever." "That's not true." Levi said. "I get sleepy. I'm not a robot. Besides. I kind of have to sleep. It's not really an option." "Still. You don't sleep this late. Were you up late?" Hange's voice sounded suggestive and Levi understood instantly. "For the love of God Hange. I was not having sex with that kid!" "But you wanted to." Levi couldn't argue with that. The kid- his name was Eren right?- was really cute. And by cute he meant completely model worthy. He had these intense blue green eyes with golden flecks in them. And his skin was the color of caramel. His hair was chocolate brown and fell to the nape of his neck. His voice was deep yet soft and warm. And he had this aura of determination about him that was irritating but endearing at the same time. "So what if did?" Levi snapped, coming out of his trance. "Even if I want to have sex with him- which is completely understandable- I didn't. I came home from the date, and passed out. Nothing more or less happened." He heard Hange snicker and decided that he was safe from questions. "You were totally having sex." Hange giggled quietly. Levi growled and hung up. "Fucking shit head. " _________________________________________________________ "So all you did was watch a movie?" Hange asked for what had to be the 20th time in we minutes. Her voice sounded disappointed, as if she had really been looking forward to a raunchy story. Levi rolled his eyes. "We went for dinner. And before you ask- again- we did not have sex. We did not kiss or hold hands or anything of the sort. We simply watched a horror movie and ate some fast food." Petra frowned as she took a sip of her lemonade. "A horror movie? That's not really date material is it?" "What can I say. I'm unconventional." Before Hange could make a snide comment, Levi's phone vibrated in his pocket. "Who's that?" Hange asked as he took the device out and checked. It was a text. The contact was unfamiliar until Levi saw the name. Eren. Levi frowned and clicked the message bubble. 'Hey. Are you okay? You ran away really fast.' Levi let Hange snatch his phone and covered his ears as she squealed. "He texted you. And he texted first. And he's worried about you. Do you know what this means?" "That he's worried about me for whatever reason?" Levi said, a silent 'you dumbass' tacked on the end. "That he likes you!" Hange whisper shouted because the people in the restaurant were sending them dirty looks. "I can assure you that's not why he texted me." "He texted again!" Hange said as Levi's phone chimed again. Petra leaned over Hange's shoulder and cooed. "Awww. He wants to know if you still have a hangover." Levi sighed, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to convince Hange to drop it now that Petra was involved. He yanked his phone back and quickly typed a message back. Then he slid the device back to her and smirked smugly. Hange frowned like a kicked puppy when she read it: 'I'm fine. Just a headache. But thanks for asking. I'm still kind of sleepy so I'll just rest off for a bit.' "Liar." Hange scowled as she slid the phone back in defeat. Levi shrugged and placed his phone back into his pocket. (Quickly setting it to silent, just in case Eren got any ideas of texting back and humiliating him further.) "What do you care?" He asked while Hange continued to fume. "You're not the one who went on a date with him are you?" "No." Hange said. "But he seems like he'd be good for you." "What the hell are you talking about?" Petra answered. "You haven't been yourself for a while. You've been...moody. Antisocial. You never want to do anything. In college you weren't like this. We just wanna see you happy again. And he seems like the person who can do that for you." Levi stared at her, not sure whether he should tell her that the happy person he'd once been in college was a lie. Nothing more than an attempt to hide his ever growing depression. He decided against it, choosing to settle for a less depressing statement. He shrugged and stood up. "Maybe he can. Maybe he can't. But we'll never know because I'm not going back out with him. It was a one time thing. And I'm perfectly happy." _________________________________________________________ 'You lied.' "I'm not going to tell her. She doesn't need to know." 'She could help you.' Levi scoffed and pressed on the gas pedal as the stoplight turned green. "I don't need help. I can handle this on my own." Lily scoffed as well. 'Yeah right. You can't handle anything. Hell, you burst into tears when that kid said-' "Don't." Levi snapped, not sure if he was stable enough to hear that word again. "Do not say it." 'Why?' Lily pushed. 'Are you gonna cry?' Levi growled. "Shut up. I won't cry. Not over some stupid word. Words have no value. I just don't wanna hear you talk anymore. And what are you even doing here? You never show up when I'm not home." Lily laughed. 'I'm a figment of your imagination genius. I show up whenever you think of me. You're literally having a conversation with yourself.' Levi turned into his complex and shut the car off before he sighed, placing his forehead on the steering wheel. "Why do I keep talking to you?" 'You gotta have someone to talk to, since you push everyone else away.' Lilly said, sounding a little annoyed. Levi shook his head. "I mean how did I get like this? How did it get so bad?" 'You know how it got this bad. You got depressed and you created me in your head so you won't feel so alone.' But he didn't feel alone. He felt fine most of the time. Only when he was reminded of his past did he break. And when he broke, it took a while to fix himself. After all, no one else would do it for him. 'That kid could.' Lilly said as if she could read Levi's thoughts. Oh wait. She was in his thoughts. "What?" Levi said, not exactly paying attention but a but intrigued. 'I said that the kid could fix you. He seemed pretty worried about you. He could help you.' Levi scoffed. "Yeah. Because he really wants to take the time to put me back together. He's not an idiot." 'He might be. Besides what have you got to lose? I'm tired of hearing you whine and watching you cut yourself. And I can only help so much. I'm not real, so I can't do anything exceptionally useful. But he could help if you let him.' "You really think he's gonna help me?" Levi asked, not really caring but still kind of wanting to know. 'I think he'd be willing to try." Lilly answered, sounding more caring than Levi knew was even possible. Levi glanced at his phone. Was he really thinking about going through with this? Making a decision based off a conversation with his own head? What did he have to lose? It wasn't like he was suddenly going to cure himself, so why the hell not? But suddenly, the idea was becoming more and more idiotic. He sighed and picked up his phone. One call. If the kid didn't answer, oh well. If the kid said no, too bad. 'Are you going to call him or not?' Lilly grunted, going back to her usual gruff self. Levi groaned and forced himself not to call. He opened his car door and walked to his apartment. He set his phone on his nightstand and flopped on his pillow face first. 'So...I'm guessing that you're not gonna call.' Lilly piped up, really getting on Levi's nerves. "Maybe tomorrow." He said, voice muffled. "He's probably busy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets an unwanted call, and Levi really needs some fucking coffee. (And I suck shit at summaries. Forgive me.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. No excuse, unless complete and earth shattering writer's block counts as an excuse. (I'm guessing that it doesn't.) I just hope that I made this chapter long enough to hold because there's no telling when I'll be able to update again.

Blood.  
There's blood everywhere.  
On the ground, splattered on the walls, clinging to the grass. It taints the place that was once his home and makes it almost impossible to look at. Home. That's what this place once was. It's not a home anymore. Not with these monsters surrounding it.  
Why do they look so weird? So deformed and abnormal as if the man upstairs had messed up when he made them? Why do they only feast on humans, and smile when they find their next prey? And why can't he fight back?

Oh. Right. He's too frozen to move. He watches as his mother is lifted from the ground, still fighting as her feet fling in the air. She's always been a fighter. He's been told so many times that he's hotheaded like her. But that hotheaded-ness is getting her nowhere. Not now. Not against this beast.  
Why is it smiling like that? Why is his mother even trying? Why are they trying? It's obvious that it's pointless to fight back. In this world, like this, they can't win. So there's no point. So why fight back? Eren watched with angry wide eyes as his mother was devoured. Watched as the giant seemed to smile down at him. Mocking him. He glanced over at Mikasa, her stoic face still expressionless but her eyes filled with fear and anger. This is why they fight back. Because they're important. The human race isn't just a midnight snack for a bunch of deformed giants. "I swear." He spits out, startling Mikasa and Armin. "I swear I'm going to kill every titan. Every single one of them." "What?" Armin said, reaching out to grab Eren's arm. "Eren. That seems highly-" "Every single one of them. Dead. I'll kill them all." _________________________________________________________ Eren jerked awake and looked around. There were no giants, no screaming people, no blood. It was just him and his bed. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. How idiotic. Why was he always so shaken up after his nightmares? He knew they weren't real. But they were so vivid. The blood was so red and the screams were so loud. It was like he was really there. Like his mom was really eaten by a giant. There was no reason to be scared. No reason to wake up in a cold sweat. And he found it pathetic that after all he went through, a stupidly vivid dream made him shaky. It irritated him to his core. Even more so when he looked in the mirror at his face. His eyes looked hollow and dull, and his forehead was covered in sweat. He looked like a sickly patient at a hospital. The kind who you just knew weren't going to last long because they looked so sunken in and depressed. He glared at his reflection the way he used to. When he was full of nothing but hatred and despair. When he'd tried repeatedly to end his life. "Eren!" Armin's voice called, yanking him from his mental chiding. "Me and Jean are on our way to campus. You coming?" "No!" Eren called back. "I have something to do today." Boy that was a lie if he ever told one. "Okay." Armin said, finishing the conversation. "If you're doing something maybe you should go out and get a job!" Jean yelled harshly right before the door closed, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts. Blankly, he considered actually taking Jean's advice and going job hunting. Then he scoffed to himself. Was he delirious from that nightmare? Why would he take Jean's advice? Maybe he was losing his mind. Eren shook his head and wondered what he could do to take up his time. Sleep was most definitely not an option, at least not if he wanted to keep his sanity. He was about to give up on ideas and just binge watch something on Netflix, when his cell phone rang. Out of habit, Eren was quick to pick it up without checking the caller ID and answering. "Hello?" He said politely, like he'd been taught as a kid. "Eren?" A familiar voice said. A voice Eren really didn't want to hear. "Dad. How are you?" _________________________________________________________ Eren's used to it. Used to the cold stares of mistrust and blame that were usually followed by an intense argument, one where someone was almost always hurt. He's grown a tolerance to the harsh glares and words that have made him feel incompetent and useless. But the fact that he's immune to the insults that he was raised on, doesn't mean he's prepared for the man who delivered them, to call his cell phone. Like. Ever. Eren flops onto the couch as he tries to greet his dad in what he hopes is a happy tone. "What do you need?" "Mikasa called me. She's worried about you for some reason. Apparently, you've begun dating a middle aged midget? Those are her words, not mine." Eren groaned. Of course Mikasa would pull something like this. She says she's okay with the date and then she goes and calls the one man Eren never wanted to hear from again unless it was necessary. "No, it's not like that." Eren says. "We're not exactly dating. We went on a date. One. And he's not really that short." "He's still about 10 years older than you, is he not?" Grisha says, voice switching from pretend caring father, to emotionless robot. "Actually, I'm not sure how old he is." "You never asked." The statement should be a question, but in his dad's robot voice, it sounds more like, well...a statement. "I was a little busy enjoying myself to care. Besides, you and Mikasa act like he's a serial rapist or something." "He could be. You'd never know." Eren knows there's an insult in that sentence somewhere, though he doesn't bother to look for it. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that if he was a rapist, I'd be in a cage somewhere getting, I dunno, raped?" He hears his father sigh, like he's having a rough day. (Yes, because he's the one who dreams of his mother dying.) "Look. I'm not here to start an argument Eren. As much as we don't get along, you're still my son and I want you to be safe. So, for the sake of your sister, myself, and you, be careful. Please." "Okay dad." Eren says, not even trying to hide his annoyance. "I'll be careful." He violently clicks the end call button and tosses his phone on the couch, wincing as it bounces and lands on the floor. He doesn't even bother to pick it up, too busy trying to decipher his father's words. Be careful? Careful of what? What was there to be afraid of? Levi was just a normal guy. A normal guy who cried at the word 'artist'. That still confused him. Why on earth would Levi cry about something like that? Eren didn't know, but he was about to find out. He bent over and picked up his phone. He had a call to make. _________________________________________________________ Levi picked at the salad on his plate and glanced up at the bright eyed boy across the table from him. Eren was watching him intensely, blue- green eyes seeming to pass right through him. "So what do you want?" He asked, getting tired of being stared at like a lab subject. The college student blinked and looked around. "W- wha? What are we talking about?" Levi fought the urge to chuckle. "You were staring at me." Eren's cheeks lit up with a vibrant pink. "Sorry. I was just thinking." "About what?" Levi asked as he finally took a bite of his salad. "Nothing. Just our date." Levi froze, mouth pausing in its chewing. He swallowed and glared at his plate. "You want to know why I ran away don't you?" Eren nodded and Levi sighed. "I can't really tell you that." "Why not?" Eren asked, frown showing up quickly. "Because if I tell you, you'll shit yourself from fear." He says, no sugar coating anywhere in the sentence. Eren's eyes gain a sort of sad glaze to them, like a soilder who's seen too much to go back. "I don't scare easy. At least not when it counts." Levi shrugs to that. "Still. I'm not telling you." For a few seconds, Eren looks like he wants to argue. But Levi figures that the kid must have some sort of brain in his head because he relents and sighs. "Fine." He says, sounding defeated. "But at least tell me something about you. I'm kind of in the dark here." Eren gets another shrug and a half nod that means 'ask away'. The college student launches into a series of questions that Levi answers quickly and efficiently. They're not complicated questions at all. In fact, they seem more like the kind of questions asked by a teenage girl on a first date to break the ice. Questions like 'What's your favorite song' or shit like that. And as much as answering the questions, bores him, it's amusing to gauge Eren's reactions. "What's your favorite color?" Eren asks. Levi glances down at his gray and white shirt and black pants. "Guess." In a rather astonishing show of either extreme luck or physic abilities, Eren guesses the color green. And not just any green. Eren says "Forest green." "Lucky guess." Levi snorts and signals for Eren to continue with the questions. "Favorite song?" Eren asks. "Don't have one." Levi answers. "Movie?" "Nope." "Okay." Eren says. "Where were you born?" "France." Levi says, smirking behind his hand at the way Eren's mouth drops open. "You're french?" He whisper- screams, looking far too giddy for someone his age. Levi nods. "I was born in France, but my parents relocated to the U.S after I turned two." Eren just stares for a while, looking kind of starstruck and to be honest, Levi's expecting him to start squealing like a girl any second now. Instead, he nods and clears his throat, before he starts on the questions again. "Birthday?" He says, voice expectant. Levi mentally cringes. He readies himself for the onslaught of follow up questions that are sure to follow when he answers, and briefly, he wonders if he should lie, but he's never been good at lying so he just gives up and tells the truth. "December 25th." He waits for the childish squeal that he's become used to but when he glances up, he finds Eren just staring at his empty plate. "That kind of sucks." He says and Levi just blinks, surprised at the way this kid's voice can go from carefree to pessimistic in a matter of seconds. "What?" Levi asks, because he's not really used to that answer. (Probably because no one's ever said it before.) Eren blinks too and smiles nervously. "Oh! Sorry if that offended you. I just mean that having a birthday on Christmas day seems like it would kind of suck." Levi frowns and Eren rushes to keep talking. "I mean, I get the while holiday season thing and the fact that you were born on Christmas is cool in a way. But it kind of cuts down the amount of present you get. People shove your birthday gift and Christmas gift into one weird thing that makes no sense and then there's the whole Jesus thing. So not only are you left with an extreme shortage of Christmas presents, you're also kind of upstaged by a guy who rose from the dead and turned water to wine." Levi doesn't make much of an effort to hide his surprise. If anything, he exaggerates it a little more than he should. But the way Eren's cheeks light up red like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, is just too funny for him to feel any sort of guilt for the action. "That's an interesting way of looking at it." He says, moving his fork around his plate, making it scratch the surface and release a loud scraping sound that makes Eren jump a bit. Eren smiles sheepishly, eyes darting away to look at anything but Levi as he answers. "It's just an opinion. And I have a bad habit of seeing the bad in everything." It doesn't take long for Levi to silently wonder if Eren sees any bad in him. They continue with the ridiculous questions, Levi insisting that Eren has to answer some too. He finds out that Eren's favorite color is navy blue, though he feels rather impartial to the color green. Eren has no favorite songs either, but he does have an extensive love for rock music. He's originally German and his birthday is in September. Their waiter comes by, asking if they want dessert and while Levi is ready to reply with a no, Eren beats him to the punch, nodding excitedly like a child and ordering chocolate cake. Levi decides to take part in a sugary endeavor of his own and goes for a slice of apple pie with ice cream. Eren's dessert comes out first and he's about to dig in, face lit up with enthusiasm for a face full of fudge, when he notices that Levi is currently dessert- less. "Wanna try some of mine?" He asks politely fork extended towards Levi with a piece of cake already balanced on it. Levi shakes his head, figuring that he'd rather not eat off of someone else's fork, and waits quietly for his pie while Eren chows down. If Levi knows one thing for sure about this kid, it's that he can pack it away like nobody's business. He's not shoveling the food into his mouth like an animal, but he might as well be with the speed at which he's swallowing each bite. He's eating like he hasn't tasted food in weeks, and Levi finds his brain feeding him a memory of three hungry kids trying to steal food to survive. He's in the middle of chewing a bite of pie when it happens, and after he swallows that bite, he decides he's no longer hungry. The waiter takes their plates and hands them the check. Before he walks off, he smirks kindly at Eren. "He's a little old for you isn't he?" He says, eyes flicking to Levi and then back to Eren. Levi catches the way Eren frowns defensively and he definitely catches the subtle hint of annoyance and anger as he replies. "Yes he is. I hope that's not a problem for you." The waiter nods, nervously, and walks away, no doubt planning to tell his coworkers about the scary kid and his middle aged boyfriend at table nine. "What was that all about?" Levi inquires as the two of them leave the restaurant and step out into the hazy heat of the late afternoon sun. "What?" Eren asks, looking like he's been jerked awake from a dream. The sunlight makes his hair look lighter than it is, but his eyes look dull and unfocused. "What was what about?" "That show in the restaurant. The way you told that waiter off. I've lived long enough to know what repressed anger looks like and that was it. Care to explain?" Levi says, and noticing the way Eren tenses up, continues talking. "Not that it's any of my business. But you looked like you wanted to strangle that guy, and I'd like to get the issue resolved so I don't accidentally piss you off and end up a victim of assault. Hospital gowns don't suit me all that well." He throws in that last bit as an attempt at humor, but Eren doesn't laugh. Instead he sighs and looks a little empty. "Sorry." He says. "The way that guy spoke to me just reminded me of a conversation I had earlier and I got mad." "And dare I ask what this conversation was about?" Levi prompts. "You." Eren says. Levi frowns and motions for Eren to elaborate, which he does so quickly. "My sister was worried about me or something like that. So she called my dad and told him about our date. Apparently she called you a middle aged midget-" Levi frowns harder at that. He knows he's not relatively tall, but he's no midget. "-and my dad called me this morning, trying to give me this huge speech about being safe and careful and all that bullshit. He even suggested that you could be a serial rapist-" Again, Levi frowns harder. Serial rapist? Really? "-and he kept telling me to be careful." "Maybe he's telling you that because he cares." Levi says, knowing that he should not be trying to play family counselor, that this isn't his problem. But Eren looks rather pissed at the moment so he figures he'll play along if he has to. "Right." Eren says, bitterly. "Now he cares. Took him long enough." Levi has no idea what that means, but if he had to guess, he'd say that he's not the only one in this conversation who had a fucked up childhood.

_________________________________________________________

Along the course of Levi's life, he's realized that are a lot of things he can live without. He has no need for a TV- though he does have one- as most of his free time is taken up by either sleeping or dealing with Hange's nonsense instead of watching mindless reality television. He likes to listen to music, but doesn't own a radio because he's found silence to be much more enjoyable than listening to some 16 year old starlet sing about love. He'd like to say that he can live without the assistance of coffee, but it's on days like these that he realizes that he'd be lying through his fucking teeth.

He first realizes that he's going to need a caffinated pick up, when his alarm goes off and he's forced to rush around like a high schooler who's missed his bus. Then, on the way to his car, he trips in his haste and nearly face plants onto solid concrete.  
To make matters worse, traffic is practically at a standstill and he's about 10 seconds from getting out of his car and backhand slapping the driver in front of him. He's late to work and he pays for it when Erwin calls him into his office.

"You're late." He says as Levi leans against the door. In his signature 'I don't care' attitude, Levi rolls his head.  
"Gimme a break." He sighs. "I woke up late and traffic was a bitch okay?"

"I'm sure that your inability to wake yourself up on time and your extreme road rage, do not qualify as viable excuses for tardiness." Erwin says, smirk ever patronizing. 

"Just like I'm sure that this has nothing to do with me being late to work, as we both know that I stopped I'm giving a damn a long time ago and am almost always late. If you don't mind, I'd like you to tell me what this is really about." Levi retorts, smirking when Erwin's eyebrow twitches.  
"The fact that you saw through that in a matter of seconds is incredibly unsettling. You are truly a frightening man." Erwin sighed.

Levi sighed. "I try. Now can you hurry it up? I've been in desperate need of a cup of coffee since I woke up and my mood is only getting worse."  
Erwin relented. "I heard from Hange that you have been keeping the company of a young man. I just wanted to make sure that she wasn't lying."

"She wasn't." Levi gritted, silently planning murder and wondering if he could get away with it. He most likely could, but still, one has the right to wonder once in a while. "His name is Eren. He's in college."  
Erwin nodded. "A little young for you don't you think?"

"Oh shut the fuck up eyebrows." Levi says, as he finds his escape and exits the room. He knows that the 'eyebrows' comment was a low blow, as Erwin hates the nickname. He also knows that he's gonna pay for it later. But he doesn't care. Right now, all he cares about is getting some fucking coffee.


End file.
